I'm Putting My Foot Down (and sleeping on the couch)

I rarely post any of those many forwarded e-mails that I receive, but this one is a classic:

Guys are taking over, and here are the rules, women:

1. 1. Men ARE not mind readers.
2. 2. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
3. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
4. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
5. Crying is blackmail.
6. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
7. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
8. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
9. A headache that lasts for 17 months IS a problem. See a doctor.
10. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.!!!!!!
11. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
12. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
13. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
14. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during >commercials.
15. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
16. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
17. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
18. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
19. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.
20. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really.
21. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.
22. You have enough clothes.
23. You have too many shoes.
24. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

Can I get an "AMEN"?!

Fritos

I have a new favorite type of chips: Chili Cheese Fritos. They really are addictive. I can't get enough of them. I tried Fritos when I was a kid and hated them. They tasted like mothballs (not that I ever snacked on mothballs) and gave me a weird feeling in my chest which I now know as heartburn. So, it was with some skepticism that I tried the Chili Cheese version. I loved 'em! And, notice, 0 grams of TRANS FAT. For those of you who know my eating habits you know that this is very important to me.

I've only had to turn to Pepcid AC twice.

Command Performance

Two of my former youth group members (and on-call babysitters), Abby and Alex, tear it up at Nampa Christian High School's variety show (or something like that).

My run-In with the law

Children of the Snow

The day after Thanksgiving, we headed up to Donnelly to the Taylor cabin for some fun in the snow. Actually, if you must know, Marc and I made the trek so we could watch the Boise State vs. Nevada game (which by the way catapulted Boise State into it's first ever BCS bowl). Anyway, Talisha captured the 2 days with her camera (hence, the absence of any embarrassing pictures which would, of course, be posted).


Trey and Emme bravely embark on a tubing adventure with yours truly. They had the cush ride. My rear-end was dragging the whole time. I was quite frozen by the time we got back. They laughed gaily, hopped off, and headed off to the world of snow angels, while I groaned, pulled my aching hindermost portions off the tube and headed off to the world of Icy-Hot.


Kassady spent most of her time eating the "white stuff" and trying to feed it to Addison. Seriously, that's all she wanted to do.


Let's just say that Lori wasn't waving by the time she returned from this little trip. I was pulling her with the 4-wheeler. Many a marital crisis has started with a scene like this.


Kassady spent the entire ride trying to scoop up the snow and put it in her mouth while we're flying along.


Trey's snow ninja castle (no, I don't know, either).


By the end of the day, we had figured out that it was more fun to ride the tube this way. The only negative is that you eat snow the whole way...which Kassady liked.


Kassady and I made the trip eventful. Kassady enjoyed pushing the throttle, which didn't always make for a smooth ride.


We finished the day with Moxie Java (toasted marshmallow hot chocolate for me) and a GI Joe card game for Trey. All good.

up

OK, I'm rolling again, thanks to my Clearwire antenna.

ARRGGGGHHH

I have this love/hate relationship with my internet provider, Clearwire. When it's working, I love it. I like the equipment and I think that long-term it's going to take off. However, every once in a while it just blows up on me. That's what I'm facing right now. I can't upload pictures (I have several I would like to share) or videos (one that you really want me to share). Right now I can't even check e-mail. I'm hoping that this post will actually make it. We'll see.

You have to appreciate irony. The one week I have an opportunity to update my blog, I'm stuck with slow to stagnant web access.

New Graphics

As promised, here are the graphics for the upcoming Liberty Quartet release, "There's a Testimony". You are the very first to see them (aren't you lucky?). Thanks to Jon Plank for some great design work. The CD will be available in December. We have a small order (200) being rushed to us for the December 17 concert at Grace Bible Church in Nampa, ID. I'll also be bringing several CDs with me when we go back east for Christmas. The rest won't be in until after Christmas. Click on the pictures to increase the size:

Cover design and first page of the insert.

Inside insert

Back of CD

Design behind CD

CD label (blue line won't actually be on CD)

Gamer

Here I am trying to distract my opponents by making Pac-man sounds while laying down my cards (sounds like: woop-woop-woop-woop). Works every time. You can also observe Diane cheating. She's looking over Doran's shoulder at his cards. I knew that she wasn't winning just based on talent.

In my steps

By the way, I found it heartening to discover that Trey is following in my footsteps. On the morning of Thanksgiving, he remarked out of the blue, "I really wish we could have stromboli for our Thanksgiving meal." Skip the turkey, Jack. He's a good man.

Thanksgiving

The Waggoner family enjoyed a fanastic Thanksgiving! While the rest of you were gorging yourselves on turkey and such, we feasted on honey-baked ham and beef tenderloin (excuse the drool marks on this post; I'm trying to wipe them off). Oh, was it ever delicious.

With Ray and Lenea McCrary moving back to Indiana, we were in a lurch when it came to Turkey Day. Normally, we would get together with the McCrarys and the Ritcheys. Everybody else around here has their families close by and so we orphans would get together and cry over our cranberry salad. Not that I ate the salad. I just cried over it.

However, our good friends Marc and Talisha invited Doran, Diane, Lori, and I (along with our munchkins) to be part of a Thanksgiving Day celebration. We had a great time! As you can see from the picture above the table was full of food. While Marc was taking the picture, we quieted our rumbling guts and pasted on our plastic smiles all the while smelling the wonderful aroma of holiday food (ah, there I go again...wiping off saliva). We were hoping that he would hurry up and take the picture because we were starved. All I had to eat before our 1:30 dinner were 6 Chili Cheese Frito chips. Yes, I counted them. I don't know why, I just did.

After an hour or so of fine dining and sophisticated conversation (insert smart-aleck comment here), we kicked off a spirited game of Apples to Apples, which I highly recommend to those of you who enjoy group games. We then followed that with a few competitive rounds of Pit. Truly, a great day.

That evening Marc, Doran, and I went over to the church gym for some basketball. I didn't embarrass myself, which these days is as good as it gets. Good stuff!

In all seriousness, it is a wonderful thing to have good friends. The older I get, the less I take them for granted. I'm a blessed man. Yeah, I guess you could say I'm thankful.