Here are a few of my favorites:
- Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
- Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.
- Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
- Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
- Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.
- Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.
- There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.
- Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he listens to a song.
- Chuck Norris can eat just one Lay's potato chip.
- Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.