Earth to Barry Bonds. Earth to Barry Bonds. The scam is over. Please retire.

I have this annoying habit of walking around while talking on my cellphone. This doesn't necessarily apply to my conversations on the ol' landline, but for some reason I can't sit still while talking on the mobile. Even when I'm called in my office, I have to get up and walk around the room instead of sitting still. Fortunately, I don't get hit with those roaming charges.

Foodmonger

Kassady also has her own idiosyncracies, including the consumption of apple sauce while standing. Actually, this applies to all of her dining attempts.

Switchfoot asked for me to provide alternative cover art for the 10th anniversary of their release "Legend of Chin".

(Photo credit: Trey Waggoner)

LaZy Basket

Furniture is so expensive these days! Visit Goodwill and pick up the latest styles in laundry baskets. Very cozy.

Don't Blow It

I captured Kassady appreciating one of her favorite pasttimes: exploring the Kleenex box. Maybe she'll be a pastor's wife someday and all this practice pulling out tissues will come in handy around the altar.

Tough Stuff

Trey is at it again. He loves using the camera. He caught me awkwardly attempting to tie Kassaady's shoes. My fingers are too big for those little shoelaces. Notice the gaze of intense concentration adorning my nearly hairless face.

The Queen City

I just had to post this cool picture. It has nothing to do with my life, necessarily, but it's a great shot. This was taken by Roel Cuaresma, an international student at GBS (who, by the way, bought my beautiful, baby-blue 1995 Mercury Sable when I moved to Idaho). It's taken overlooking downtown Cincinnati. I have to give him props on this one. I'll bet even Kevin Moser is impressed!

ER episode

Last night we had quite a scare. After the teens Bible study we went over to Marc and Talisha's house for dessert. Their beautiful new house has hardwood floors throughout the first floor. Kassady was running around and slipped and fell backwards on her head. Lori ran over to pick her up and she was stiff as a board and not breathing. Her eyes began rolling back into her head and then she started jerking around. Lori started calling her name loudly and she finally starting breathing again, but would just utter these cry/moans. Lori handed her to me and Kassady started throwing back her head and closing her eyes. I kept on talking her to try to keep her alert, but she wouldn't respond in her normal fashion. Lori held her again and she kept on acting like she was going to faint. Her face turned extremely pale and her skin started appearing blue underneath her nose.

We left Trey at Marc and Talisha's and tore off toward the hospital. On the way, Kassady kept trying to fall asleep. We didn't know if this was because of the injury or because of being an hour and a half past her normal bedtime, so Lori kept her as awake as possible.

She was finally admitted to the emergency ward and after waiting for about a half hour or so was initially seen by a nurse. By this time her color had come back and she was tearing up the hospital room (literally). When the doctor eventually made it in to the room, Kassady was back to her normal self.

They checked her vision, her head, and ears for signs of a concussion or injury, but couldn't find anything. We took her home and Lori woke her up in the middle of the night just to make sure there weren't any lingering associative problems.

Thank God she's fine. All's well that ends well, I guess. Just a little less sleep.

The Welcome Waggon(er)

I walked in the door to a great surprise! Trey had prepared a large sign welcoming his daddy home. He included pictures of all of my favorite sports. After he and Lori had discussed making a sign for me, he told her that she also need to "hang streamers and balloons and stuff." So, Lori did. I am loved.

Here's another picture of the sign, streamers, and balloon (hanging from our elaborate chandelier). Which brings to mind the question: Why do women stress out about dust on refrigerators, lamps (chandeliers), and closet shelves not to mention pictures thereof? It seems to me that women exhibit a hypersensitivity when it comes to these areas. Guys, are like, is there food? Good. There could be dust, cobwebs, dirt, full-grown gerbils in the closet but as long as you come out with food we're OK. Women, on the other hand, apparently spend their time in someone else's kitchen industriously assisting the hostess while at the same time scanning the tops of refrigerators, cabinets, counters for minute particles of dust. At least that's my theory. Cause why else would they stress out about pictures like this one? It's beyond me. Ladies?

Driving

I had my first bus-driving experience on the little "hills" of Mt. Hood (elevation: 11,237 feet). Now, we didn't go all the way to the top or anything like that, but I did navigate the outskirts. I have never driven anything larger than a 15-passenger van (I don't think Rev. Barry Arnold's tractor qualifies as a vehicle), so there were many prayers offered up as I skillfully piloted our bus around the steep grades of the mountain. The guys made subtle observations such as "Um...you might want to slow down here." "Try the jake brake." and my personal favorite, "Aaaaggghhhh!!" I handled it quite well, with the only sign of my internal stress being the large red blotches on top of my bald head and the nervous twitch I developed at the corner of my mouth. We made it without incident (if you don't count the stench of burning brakes).

The Oregon Trail

Well, I survived my first full weekend with Liberty with minimal damage done. I had a great time! It's as enjoyable and fulfilling as I imagined it could be. Everything went fairly well. If it could be illustrated using a weather forecast it would be mostly sunny, few clouds, slight chance of rain (I know. That's a pretty weird comparison).

My first full concert was in John Day, OR. The town was small, but the scenery was incredible. It's surrounded by snow-capped and majestic mountains. The trip down was beautiful. For those of you who know me, I'm usually fairly comfortable on the stage. I'm far from being Mr. Smooth, but I'm past the knee-clattering stage (see Exhibit #10, Keith's first music recital, GBS, fall of 1995). However, I walked on the stage confidently and then totally lost it on my very first song. I don't know if it was nerves or what, but I couldn't remember any of the words to our concert opener. I mumbled my way through the entire song, forgot that I was supposed to take the melody on the last 2 choruses, and totally blew the ending. In a way, it was comforting. I knew it couldn't get any worse. It didn't. I made it through the rest of the concert without huge, noticeable errors.

We had to sleep on the bus Thursday night, which was a new experience for me. I got maybe 4 hours of sleep. It was probably more like 3. On Friday, we headed west towards Portland. We had a full weekend of concerts, 5 full concerts and 1 memorial service held at Portland, OR First Church of the Nazarene. The church is literally built into the side of a mountain. Pretty impressive!

Overall, everything went well. I still have no clue what the lyrics are to the song "Happy Rhythm". I know that the word "bubbles" is in there somewhere so I throw it in every other phrase knowing that eventually I'll get it right. But, people laughed at my attempts at humor, I was told that I looked "real good" in my promotional picture by a 7-year-old girl, and I met some fantastic people. What more can you ask for on your first weekend?

It's all good!