Thursday, November 23, 2006

Story of Poultry's Cousin

Happy Thanksgiving!

I remember sitting in my Grandma's living room several years ago when the subject of Thanksgiving dinner came up. "Well, I guess I better start looking for the turkey for our Thanksgiving meal," Grandma said. I just couldn't take it anymore, so I piped up, "You know, I've never really liked turkey. It's way too dry for me."

"I've never liked it, either", said Dad's voice from the recliner.

"We've only had turkey because I thought you guys liked it", Grandma said. "I don't really care for it myself."

We had been eating turkey for years. That Thanksgiving we had ham.

True story. The end.

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

A Near Myth

Were you ever told obvious myths as a child, myths delivered by an authority figure with the intent to alter your current behavior? The one that we've all heard is "if you keep twisting your face up like that it's going to stay that way." Is there anyone who can produce a documented story of a child poking out their eye as a result of running with scissors? Heard that one. "If you don't quit fighting with your brother Santa's not going to bring you any presents (this didn't come from my parents by the way; so it failed to bring about desirable results)!" Early to bed, early to rise, make a man health, wealthy, and wise. Yeah, right.

I found myself using the "poke out the eye" warning the other day, as Trey ran through the house with a fork in his hand (don't ask). He gave me a puzzled look, then said, "oh" and put the fork on the counter. I'm currently creating my own weird combinations of plausible outcomes:

If you don't eat your chicken, your spine will turn to rubber.
Listening to Celine Dion music leads to immorality.
Assembling 500-piece puzzles increases a person's ability to understand technology.
A pretzel a day keeps the orthodontist away.

Preface them by saying to children and underlings, "I've heard that..."

Sorry, I was just in a weird mood tonight. This topic slightly reminds me of my grandmother's insistence that the Russians control our weather. They do this by beaming satellite rays (no, I can't define what a satellite ray is) into the heavens. Our tornadoes, hurricanes, and earthquakes are related to the Communists quest for world-wide domination. Maybe she's onto something. Besides, Steward McBurney said so...

And, no, mom, people can't look at you through your computer monitor.
I'm going to die for that one.

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

Cover #9

You guys are fantastic art critics. I am now bringing my artistic concepts here first. You had some good ideas. #9 is the cover pick. I'll upload the artwork in a little while. Great comments.

I'm listening...

I'm listening to a bunch of new music this week. Every once in a while I like to expand my musical borders. It's very easy for me to get stuck in the Southern Gospel rut (which isn't all bad), while ignoring the wealth of today's musical talent. A group whose music I'm enjoying is Irish Christian band Ceili Rain. They have an interesting sound that reminds me of what would happen if you fused the Corrs and Iona together. However, the music is much happier. Ear candy, if you will.

And I know this is pathetic, but I've just started listening to Carrie Underwood. Yeah, I know, if I was a true American Idol fanatic I would have already contributed to her massive fan base (or not, if you were more into Bo). But, I didn't get turned onto AI until last year, so I pretty much ignored her run to the top in 2005. I do like her CD, though.

Sorry, Faith Hill.

Also on my listening list for the week are:

Building 429: Rise
POD: Testify (really, really heavy; don't recommend for the weak of heart)
David Crowder* Band: Collision A (actually, this is a great album)