Tuesday, October 31, 2006

It's all about the treats

I sit here remembering my Halloweens past. I was king of the "trick-or-treat" routine. My parents didn't keep us from canvassing the neighborhood for candy. I recall being miffed at the popcorn in the plastic baggie that we got from the "cheap" neighbor. "You mean you can't afford PAL bubblegum? C'mon!" Now, I'm on the other end of the whole handing out candy thing. Lori sent me to the store to get candy and I did my job. Too well. I came back with 2 jumbo bags of candy. Our gruesome guests have yet to make a dent in the stash. I'm going to start giving it out by the fistful. We decided to let Trey and Kassady go out this year. Trey is dressed as a fighter pilot, while Kassady is prissing around as a princess. Lori, Talisha, and Emme have accompanied Trey and Kassady. Lori and Talisha are disguised as semi-stressed mothers who peek around the corner to make sure that the kids aren't slipped drugs by unsavory characters. Since they're only visiting family and friends from church I think they'll be OK.

I remember my first mask. Well, it was kind of a mask. I dressed up as a Mexican vaquero with panty-hose pulled over my head mashing my face into a grotesque pattern, where my cheeks unnaturally puffed above my eyes. The moustache that my dad drew on with a permanent marker kept slipping around until it finally rested on the side of my face. I really couldn't see that well and breathing was difficult. But I endured it all for the promise of candy. I remember running from one house to the other, thinking "candy, candy, must have candy". Due to my impaired eyesight I totally missed seeing a guide wire from the telephone pole. I hit that thing at full speed. I remember flipping gracefully through the air and landing on my back. The air left my lungs with a whoosh and I lay there dazed and in extreme pain. However, there were many females around, and so to impress them I got to my feet and tried to walk it off. Oh, it hurt so bad! I acted cool, like nothing had happened (even though everyone was convulsing in laughter; you know, falling on the ground with mirthful gyrations) but I hurt so bad. It ended up leaving a massive welt across my thigh which lasted for several weeks. I did take off the pantyhose mask.

Halloween isn't for the weak of heart. So, I'm just going to eat candy tonight. I do have a mask that I might put on to startle the kids.

3 comments:

Keith said...

You are one messed up person. I'd look like the hunchback of Notre Dame. And, no, I don't look like Phil.

Anonymous said...

so how did frightening little kids go? you should have relived your childhood memories by putting lori's pantyhose on your head! oh, and by the way, when you got back on your feet to impress the girls, i'm quite certain they were not the slightest bit impressed!

Anonymous said...

I remember that Halloween! I think we stuffed pillows in your shirt which gave you a hangover; over the belt that is!! It was tricky getting you & Bobby in & out of the back seat! Remember, Bobby was the Tin Soldier. I took a big box & covered it with tin foil, and his head & legs protrudedfrom the boxtop & bottom. I didn't think about if it would fit into the car or not. I knew I'd spent enough time getting you all fixed up, that we had to get you in one way or the other!!! Dad stuffed the pillows in you. Of couse, Mamma & Pappa's was the first stop, and we laughed & laughed. One time we took David & Tami Fry, & you all sat on the tailgate of the Honda Civic which was open!! You had a ball. I kinda enjoyed ti myself!!