Wednesday, November 16, 2005

It really makes no sense unless you've been to a GBS Christmas program


From an IM transcript dated 4/06/2004:

boldly i appear before your throne
Yes, I hold out the scepter, but it is withdrawn.
I kick your scepter out of your hand and gaffaw loudly
The king leaves the courtroom.
The guards enter gleefully, eager to do their duty.
Jplank1807 cowers in fear as they draw nigh.
They quickly exit offstage where a soundtrack plays Scream clip2.
a hand in the crowd reaches forward to adjust a spotlight that does not want to stay in position on its own.
the awkward silence is broken by a smattering of applause
a large angel steps out of the fog, surrounded by smaller, less-important, female angels crowned in garland.
snickers scatter through the crowd
a cough breaks the silence
the garland slips on the head of the African-American angel
just beyond the lattice work lies an icy-cold horse trough, awaiting it's scene
Restless stagehands whisper hoarsely in the dark
a flashlight is inadvertantly turned on while an actor makes his way through the crowd to change the tape on his camcorder
202 sets of eyes follow him, while 7 sets of eyes remain riveted on the stage
Scores of concertgoers head for the exits
1 child exits the auditorium, feeling the need to use restroom.
201 adults follow, vowing never to return
the large angel looks in shock, while the smaller angels drop their hands from their slightly upraised position
Keith Waggoner gets up from his chair
This fascinating show has come to an end
He packs for home
unconcerned about the 10 minutes he will not give to his employer
thinking about the meal he will enjoy at the new cheesecake factory
Jplank1807 obviously unaware of Spring Break work hours blunders once again
Go in piece...

*the preceding was nothing more than a work of satire and any resemblance to an actual person, persons, or location is nothing more than an amazing coincidence

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

I've been to MANY GBS concerts and this still doesn't make sense but it did make me laugh!!!

Anonymous said...

It didn't make sense to me either. It must take a strange sense of humor to get it. I attended some of these. I think I supplied some of the quipment. Or at least I offered it to them, I don't know if they used it.

Anonymous said...

A dog howls in the distance. Reindeers pauses. A bread roll is hurled into the street.

Keith said...

Chuck, did you used to work in a small secluded room in the dank and damp basement of the Adcock Memorial Chapel?

Anonymous said...

More shepherds than you could ever imagine crowd the hillside, or at least the rises, breaking forth into spontaneous song which scare the sheep severely.

Anonymous said...

Clad in garments of blue and beige.