OK, here they are, drumroll please (dtdtdtdtdtdtdtdttdtd....): the FCA All-Stars! Give them a hand ladies and gentlemen. (Cue music; can't be too rocky, though) Theme music plays loudly, the cassette warbling occasionally during the Cathedral Quartet's version of "Masterbuilder" (that's the jazziest version we're allowed to play).
All-Stars come skipping out onto the Green Street Park field dressed in their uniforms (remember, this is A.C.E., children; only red, white, or blue shirts, oxford style preferred, sleeves must be below the elbow; please make sure that pants and skirts are constructed of sturdy blue material that disintegrates only after 20 or more scrapes on the blacktop). Unfortunately, Keith has three patches on his pants. My mom wanted to make sure those pants lasted all year.
The All-Stars take their place behind the rickety fence separating the dugout (which consists only of a 4 foot slab on concrete resting upon two pieces of wood) while the crowd cheers wildly. One by one, they run out on the field as their name is called:
At pitcher, Carrie Glass! (remember those big glasses?)
Our catcher is, Susan Bailey (she always played catcher)
At first base, Jonathan Bailey (he lopes off toward the base, shouting insults at Matt Sullivan)
At second base, David Fry (carrying the long knife that we almost got caught with during the Wesleyan Youth Camp in Frankfort)
Short stop, Keithie Waggoner (he runs out to his position, his hair poof waving in the wind)
Third base, Tracy Griffin (probably the best girl to every play softball in the world)
In right field we have, Matt Sullivan (makes his way out to the field while shouting back at Jonathan)
Right center field, Jeremy Glass (he runs out chanting, "Beanie-weenies are nutritious, Beanie-weenies are delicious" in a high soprano voice)
Our left center fielder is Chris Arndt (he sprints to his position, headphone jangling on his head, while he listens to a black market cassette copy of New Kids on the Block which he and his cousin are selling for $1.00 to other kids who will later have their copies taken and destroyed by parents who are convinced that NKOTB are the Beatles of our generation)
And last, but certainly, not least in right field, Bobby Waggoner (yelling insults to generally everyone except David Fry)
Your Frankfort Covenant Academy All Stars are brought to you by Caterpillar and Kirby Risk, who at this time employ pretty much all of the Frankfort Bible Holiness Church.
I hope you enjoy the game as much as I did.
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3 comments:
Boy, do you ever have a good memory! No I hadn't forgotten about my google-eyed glasses, but I had forgotten about the bootleg copies of NKOTB (I didn't buy one, by the way!) and David's knife.
You always did have a nice poof in the front of your head, didn't you?...
"DID" being the key word in that statement
Oh wait is that another insult from that 1st baseman.
I laughed at this account. You all had such a good time growing up. As for that NKOTB copy, you're grounded!! G-R-O-U-N-D-E-D, GROUNDED!! Do you understand, Keithie Waggoner?? Is that a "Yes, Mom?"
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