Story of Poultry's Cousin

Happy Thanksgiving!

I remember sitting in my Grandma's living room several years ago when the subject of Thanksgiving dinner came up. "Well, I guess I better start looking for the turkey for our Thanksgiving meal," Grandma said. I just couldn't take it anymore, so I piped up, "You know, I've never really liked turkey. It's way too dry for me."

"I've never liked it, either", said Dad's voice from the recliner.

"We've only had turkey because I thought you guys liked it", Grandma said. "I don't really care for it myself."

We had been eating turkey for years. That Thanksgiving we had ham.

True story. The end.

A Near Myth

Were you ever told obvious myths as a child, myths delivered by an authority figure with the intent to alter your current behavior? The one that we've all heard is "if you keep twisting your face up like that it's going to stay that way." Is there anyone who can produce a documented story of a child poking out their eye as a result of running with scissors? Heard that one. "If you don't quit fighting with your brother Santa's not going to bring you any presents (this didn't come from my parents by the way; so it failed to bring about desirable results)!" Early to bed, early to rise, make a man health, wealthy, and wise. Yeah, right.

I found myself using the "poke out the eye" warning the other day, as Trey ran through the house with a fork in his hand (don't ask). He gave me a puzzled look, then said, "oh" and put the fork on the counter. I'm currently creating my own weird combinations of plausible outcomes:

If you don't eat your chicken, your spine will turn to rubber.
Listening to Celine Dion music leads to immorality.
Assembling 500-piece puzzles increases a person's ability to understand technology.
A pretzel a day keeps the orthodontist away.

Preface them by saying to children and underlings, "I've heard that..."

Sorry, I was just in a weird mood tonight. This topic slightly reminds me of my grandmother's insistence that the Russians control our weather. They do this by beaming satellite rays (no, I can't define what a satellite ray is) into the heavens. Our tornadoes, hurricanes, and earthquakes are related to the Communists quest for world-wide domination. Maybe she's onto something. Besides, Steward McBurney said so...

And, no, mom, people can't look at you through your computer monitor.
I'm going to die for that one.

Cover #9

You guys are fantastic art critics. I am now bringing my artistic concepts here first. You had some good ideas. #9 is the cover pick. I'll upload the artwork in a little while. Great comments.

I'm listening...

I'm listening to a bunch of new music this week. Every once in a while I like to expand my musical borders. It's very easy for me to get stuck in the Southern Gospel rut (which isn't all bad), while ignoring the wealth of today's musical talent. A group whose music I'm enjoying is Irish Christian band Ceili Rain. They have an interesting sound that reminds me of what would happen if you fused the Corrs and Iona together. However, the music is much happier. Ear candy, if you will.

And I know this is pathetic, but I've just started listening to Carrie Underwood. Yeah, I know, if I was a true American Idol fanatic I would have already contributed to her massive fan base (or not, if you were more into Bo). But, I didn't get turned onto AI until last year, so I pretty much ignored her run to the top in 2005. I do like her CD, though.

Sorry, Faith Hill.

Also on my listening list for the week are:

Building 429: Rise
POD: Testify (really, really heavy; don't recommend for the weak of heart)
David Crowder* Band: Collision A (actually, this is a great album)

Trick-Or-Treat

Trey and Kassady pose with LeRena Ezell before embarking with Mom, Talisha, and Emme upon a night filled with fun and plunder. Trey enjoys giving the thumbs-up symbol for everything. How's that appendix, buddy? Thumbs up. What do you think about soccer? Thumbs up. What's your take on "Cars"? Two thumbs up.

They weren't sure of Bob's intentions when he opened the door.

Emme wasn't too sure she wanted any of the Waggoner candy when I met them at the door.

However, she quickly got over it.

Legacy Five

Last night Legacy Five was featured in concert here in Nampa. It was great to be able to be with the guys again and hear what's going on in their ministry. Liberty sang 3 songs before the start of the 2nd half, while Testament, a fantastic trio from First Church of the Nazarene consisting of Boyd Hoops, Mike Wiebe, and Carey Cooke, opened up.

I'm here to tell you that Legacy brought the house down. I've been to probably 10-12 L5 concerts since they formed. Last night proved to me that they have taken their music, performance, and energy to a whole new level. To be honest, in the past, their songs haven't wowed me. Yes, they would have a great song now and then, but as a whole their albums didn't have anything that set them apart from everyone else. And then came "Live in Music City". For those of you who don't have this new project (DVD or CD), you need to go buy it. Immediately! It is full of GREAT songs, material that puts them on a whole different plane.

Not only have they chosen their songs wisely, they have also gelled as a performance team. Last night they were exciting! The missing link was Frank Seamand. He has definitely come into his own in the last year or so. He brought an energy to the stage that has been missing in the past. I've seen them several times without Roger, but this was the first time that I didn't miss him. And that's nothing against Roger; he's one of the best emcees in the business right now. But this group has finally emerged from his shadow. Scott Fowler did a fantastic job emceeing last night, while Scott Howard and Glenn Dustin added to the performance with their dry senses of humor. Tim Parton is filling in on piano, and I'm here to tell you the guy is amazing! He didn't miss a note, while playing fills and solos that Roger would be proud of.

They began the concert with a charisma and sound that can only be described as aggressive (in a positive way, of course). They owned it from start to finish. And, they have added an overt evangelistic thrust to their concert. Nearly all of the guys shared their personal testimony, and Scott gave a moving invitation that I'm sure several responded to. Itwas awesome!

Some of the songs they sang last night were Strike Up the Band (an exciting, high-energy concert opener), I Found Grace, The Blood Covers It All, I've Been Changed, Peace, The Right Side of the Dirt, Truth Is Marching On, Precious Jesus Hold My Hand, I'm Winging My Way Back Home, His Name Is Wonderful along with more of their classics. It's one of the best concerts I've been to for a while. Legacy Five has taken it up several notches. They have established themselves as one of the elite groups in the SG genre.

We (along with our families) enjoyed hanging out with Legacy Five and our good friends the Graffenbergers at Dennys following the concert. The guys flew into Boise to meet the bus. Unfortunately, 50 miles outside of Boise the bus's turbo system gave out. Gary, Legacy Five's bus driver, called Royce at 11:30 Monday night to ask if he knew of a place he could take it. He had driven it to the outskirts of Boise and he said smoke was just rolling out from under the bus. He thought that the bus was literally on fire. Fortunately, he was just around the corner from the only diesel shop in town that stays open all night. Gary didn't get much sleep Monday night, so he spent Tuesday crashing at a hotel. He was feeling pretty good by the time he got to Dennys.

I'm convinced Scott Fowler is going to run for office someday. He ought to. If you want to hear some passionate commentary get him going about the recent elections.

Overall, it was a great night. You're not going to find many groups who can match Legacy Five in spirit, performance, or integrity. Go buy their DVD and see what I'm talking about.

Take your pick

OK, sorry about the absence. I'm back. And, no, I'm not going to quit blogging. It just might be a while between posts during those busy times. I'm currently working on a new album concept for Liberty quartet with my good friend Jon Plank. I already know what we're going with, but just for kicks and giggles (nope, never understood that phrase either) I want to hear from you. Which one do you prefer? If you pick the right one, you might win...well, no, to be honest, you're not going to win anything. Just let me know your favorite:

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Crossroads

Loyal readers (all 4 of you), I am at a crossroads. I have thoroughly enjoyed my blogging endeavor the last year and a half. It's been a lot of fun and I have been able to connect with so many people. However, it's getting harder and harder to update on a consistent basis. My schedule is getting busier each week (at least that's the way it seems) and I'm finding less time and inspiration. So, I'm either going to retire or just do it whenever inspiration hits me. I'm still debating... I'll let you know in the next few days what I decide.

Yes, I voted.

#5

Pictures from Trey's 5th birthday party. Witty commentary to follow. I'll be back from Arizona on Tuesday.

Scary Poll

Kind of makes you wonder if we've focused on the minor issues: http://www.breitbart.com/news/2006/10/31/061031235233.s0l4o4wy.html.

It's all about the treats

I sit here remembering my Halloweens past. I was king of the "trick-or-treat" routine. My parents didn't keep us from canvassing the neighborhood for candy. I recall being miffed at the popcorn in the plastic baggie that we got from the "cheap" neighbor. "You mean you can't afford PAL bubblegum? C'mon!" Now, I'm on the other end of the whole handing out candy thing. Lori sent me to the store to get candy and I did my job. Too well. I came back with 2 jumbo bags of candy. Our gruesome guests have yet to make a dent in the stash. I'm going to start giving it out by the fistful. We decided to let Trey and Kassady go out this year. Trey is dressed as a fighter pilot, while Kassady is prissing around as a princess. Lori, Talisha, and Emme have accompanied Trey and Kassady. Lori and Talisha are disguised as semi-stressed mothers who peek around the corner to make sure that the kids aren't slipped drugs by unsavory characters. Since they're only visiting family and friends from church I think they'll be OK.

I remember my first mask. Well, it was kind of a mask. I dressed up as a Mexican vaquero with panty-hose pulled over my head mashing my face into a grotesque pattern, where my cheeks unnaturally puffed above my eyes. The moustache that my dad drew on with a permanent marker kept slipping around until it finally rested on the side of my face. I really couldn't see that well and breathing was difficult. But I endured it all for the promise of candy. I remember running from one house to the other, thinking "candy, candy, must have candy". Due to my impaired eyesight I totally missed seeing a guide wire from the telephone pole. I hit that thing at full speed. I remember flipping gracefully through the air and landing on my back. The air left my lungs with a whoosh and I lay there dazed and in extreme pain. However, there were many females around, and so to impress them I got to my feet and tried to walk it off. Oh, it hurt so bad! I acted cool, like nothing had happened (even though everyone was convulsing in laughter; you know, falling on the ground with mirthful gyrations) but I hurt so bad. It ended up leaving a massive welt across my thigh which lasted for several weeks. I did take off the pantyhose mask.

Halloween isn't for the weak of heart. So, I'm just going to eat candy tonight. I do have a mask that I might put on to startle the kids.

A tribute to Napolean (I apologize to all dial-up users)

I think I'm going to quit posting and just link to all the funny stuff that Carlton posts.

By the way, Happy Birthday to my esteemed sister (in-law) Rebecca. You're the best!

Home Is Where the Heart Is (really!)

Finally, I'm back home. I've spent way too much time traveling the last few weeks. It was a fantastic trip, though! I'll be updating you on everything that went on in the next couple of days. Of course, I took my camera and, of course, I forgot to dig it out of my luggage, so check out Jon Plank's blog, http://jonplank.com/secure/index.shtml, for some pics of the week. He took them with his cell phone, so they aren't the highest quality. However, you can still get a sense of what's going on.

It is so nice to be back with my family again. Last night Doran and Diane had a party for all the kids in the church, so Lori and I dropped off our little gremlins and went out to eat. As we were sitting in Outback it hit us that we hadn't had a date by ourselves since June. Pathetic! It was nice getting caught up on everything in Nampa and filling her in on my trip.

I'm off to the studio this morning. I have to fix a few lines on the new Liberty CD, "There's a Testimony", and then record some background vocals for Doran's piano CD. I hope you have a Happy Halloween, a Happy Harvest, or whatever you call today.

A slight pause in the action

Just for the record, I will not be able to post for the next 2 weeks. I am finishing up all of those last-minute details for Youth Challenge 2006. Hopefully, all of you guys that live in Indiana, Kentucky, and Ohio will stop by. I'll be leading worship for the convention (Oct. 26-28), directing the choir, as well as speaking in one of the sessions on Saturday. It's always a blast to get back with all of you guys I went to school with (or youth camp, or church, or whatever). For more info, check out www.youthchallenge.net.

In 2 weeks I will be resuming my posting. Take the time that you usually spend reading my blog and eat ice cream or something. I promise you'll enjoy it...unless you're lactose intolerant.

Where Are They Now?: Catching up with yesterday's celebrities

Former music star Jon Plank was spotted wandering around shopping centers in urban Pennsylvania wild-eyed and muttering, "we could have been big...if only.." in Russian. He was also pushing around a Casio keyboard in a shopping cart (not pictured).

Samaritan Handyman

It's tough being the Good Samaritan, you know. Really, it is. Last week, I saw Royce laying in the ditch and attempted to come to the rescue. You see, Royce is a very talented man and his talent comes to light in many, many areas. There are many reasons why he is the leader of Liberty. One area that he hasn't quite mastered yet, is that of the technological realm. Now, I have fair-to-middling talents when it comes to technology. I'm no genius, that's for sure (stop laughing, guys) but I can usually figure out the typical problems that might stump the average Joe.

So, when Royce told me that he was having computer issues I told him that I would take a look. When I came over to look at his home PC, I knew immediately that we had issues. It was 6 or 7 years old and was still running a venerable edition of Windows 98. It's memory was overworked and it's storage was maxed. His printer was old, creaky, and unresponsive. So, I suggested that he start pricing new computers. To make a long story short, I met Royce at Best Buy and we found a great deal on a new computer and printer. I had a few errands to run, so I told Royce that I would meet him over at his house later in the evening. So, last Tuesday I got to the Mitchell mansion at about 8:00. I had told Lori that this shouldn't take very long. I expected to be home in a couple of hours. HA!

I set up the computer for Royce, connecting all of the various components. Royce has a wireless Linksys network for his home and since his desktop didn't have a wireless card we ran over to Target to purchase a wireless adaptor. Since his router was a Linksys, I went with a Linksys wireless adaptor. This is where everything went bad. It was now about 9:00 or so, and I still had quite a bit of software to install. But, before I could load much of the software I had to have an internet connection. So, I set up this new wireless adaptor. What I didn't know was the Linksys program that must be loaded for the adaptor to work has a bug that interferes with the Windows XP Welcome screen. It screws everything up. Now, I didn't know this at first, so I continued to load all the software. Anyone that has loaded Norton Anti-virus 2007 knows that it takes an hour just to load. So, finally, at about 10:30, I finished everything and restarted the computer. The weird image and log-in box that filled the screen told me that we had a problem. So, I got on Google and researched the issue. On a messageboard, several users who had experienced the same problem posted their solutions to the issue. I found out that there was 1 specific file that was causing all of the problems.

Now, when people ask for help when they're experiencing PC issues, I always advise them to refrain from just deleting files. There are specific steps that have to be completed in order to take care of the issue. Oh, that I would have listened to my own advice. I read that you could simply remove the file and it would fix the problem. Like an idiot, that's what I did. I restarted the computer, and a blue screen appeared, informing me that do to a missing file Windows couldn't load. Talk about instant diarrhea! Royce is looking over my shoulder the whole time, while I attempted to convey an attitude of "Yeah, I know what we need to do here". Finally, he figured out that I had screwed up. He was very, very nervous. He was sure that the computer was toast. I didn't tell him that I was thinking the same thing. Talk about feeling guilty. There was quite a bit of tension in the area.

Well, I had to start from scratch. I had to load everything again, including Windows XP, all of the software that had been pre-loaded. When I left at 1:00 AM, I still wasn't done. I ended up spending about 12 hours on everything. The thing that ticked me off was that it was all due to my rookie error. I HATE, absolutely HATE, being at fault.

I can say that everything is working great these days. In fact, it's as good as new. Also, Royce is now able to sleep.

I still get red-faced when I think of my errors, out loud saying a loud, Napoleanesque, IDIOT.

News Release

(AP) Sources reveal that there is no known familial connection between John Daker and Keith Waggoner, contributor to the wildly popular blog "keithinside". The men's lack of hair as well as similar facial twitches have led many to speculate that there was more to the post http://keithinside.blogspot.com/2006/10/my-name-is-john-daker-for-one-of-our.html than Waggoner let on. The sources go on to say that while the two have never met, there may be a connection between Daker's voice teacher and accompanist, Reva Cooper Insicker, and Philip Bishop, a former piano player for Assurance, a quartet from God's Bible School and College. Bishop and Waggoner traveled together for 3 years and sources say that Bishop's "Singing Paige's" style of accompanying was taken straight from Insicker's piano video series. Bishop declined a request to be interviewed for this article, but did offer to "Keep Smilin'".

Garen Wolf, Waggoner's vocal instructor for 3 years, stated that Daker's performance did remind him of a rendition of "Schubert's "Die Schöne Müllerin" performed by Keith at a junior recital in which "Waggoner attempted to make up German-sounding words to cover up the fact that he had forgotten the lyrics. It fooled no one, including the non-music majors who were there only to support their significant others. Sad, really."

Developing...

Castleta-a-ales, Castleta-a-ales...(for those of you without young children, stolen from the Veggietales theme song)

I just discovered the blog of Troy and Martha Castle (thanks to her post!). As usual, I like to feature the blogs of my friends. Check out Tales from a Castle: http://castlejourney.blogspot.com/. Troy is starting work on his master's degree in music at Bob Jones University in SC. They're a great couple, with cute kids!